Learn From All: Share Your Dream with Few

According to a close friend of mine, she keeps sharing her
dream (in this case we are defining a dream as an ultimate
business success goal) with people who call her "silly" and
otherwise put her down for having that dream.

I asked her, "why put yourself through that?"

"After all" I suggested, "If you're going to share your dream,
share it with those who will encourage and support you; not
insult you."

That's not to say, of course, that you shouldn't seek counsel
from people; even if those people might be negative. If they
are "thinking people" whom you respect, you can use their
thoughts to see where you might or might not need to adjust
your planning.

Roy Disney was notorious as the person who always told his
brother, Walt why something "couldn't" be done. Of course, Walt
typically did it anyway, and quite often his projects succeeded,
but he respected his brother's wisdom enough to take counsel in
what he said.

That's fine. I also have a "Negative Nellie" - type person I
seek out to run ideas past because I know that, if he tells me
it's a winner; it probably is. But, if he tells me it's a loser;
even if I don't agree with him and decide to go ahead anyway,
I'll usually learn a couple good points in which I need to
re-think my plans. That's different from what my friend is doing.

You see, if you're sharing your dream with those you feel close
to and being flat-out insulted or put-down because of this,
you're not doing yourself (or your dream) a service, but instead
doing something most likely very counter productive to achieving
your goals.

"Joan" said this person called her "silly." To me, that's not
a critique worth taking seriously. Had he said, "here's why I
don't think it will work" and then went on to list some reasons,
then it gives her something to consider and think through. That
doesn't mean she has to agree or act upon any or all of his
suggestions.

However, it might be a good idea to consider the source. If that
erson has a track record of accomplishment, it certainly would
be worthwhile for her to seriously weigh that advice.

However, "it's silly" does not sound like that is the case.
That kind of "critique" typically comes from people who call
themselves "realists."

And, remember what Jim Cathcart (www.jimcathcart.com) says,
"....a realist is simply a pessimist who doesn't want to admit
it. I've never heard a 'realist' take an optimistic posture on
any topic. They always say, 'Let's be realistic,' and then go
on to explain why your idea can't be done. Imagine a realist
saying, 'Realistically, we don't yet know what the possibilities
are. This could be easier than we think!'"

I like Jim's take. And, I think it's important - not only that
we seek out people who, at best, support our dreams and, at
worst, critique with "consideration and thoughtfulness"
(meaning they are truly considering their suggestions and are
filled with thought) - that we do the same when someone runs
an idea past us.

This doesn't mean we should tell someone that we think their
idea is terrific if we think it's a "turkey." What it does
mean is that, if we don't feel it's going to be the next big
success, we consider it carefully, and explain why. And, it
goes without saying, that we do so with "consideration and
thoughtfulness" (in this case, meaning we consider their
feelings and filled with thought on how we phrase our critique).

Remember, most people are not interested in your dream. And,
half of those who are interested, are only interested because
it gives them a chance to say something negative about it; thus
making themselves feel temporarily better.

So, choose wisely those with whom you share your dream.
Learn  from everyone, but share your dream with few.
(Written by Bob Burg)