Friendship over Nations

Live in the UK

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Beware the Dream Stealers

Although your own internal measurements are the most
important, you will occasionally need to seek external
feedback on your progress toward your goals. When you do, be
sure it is from people who are truly interested in seeing
you succeed.

Don't seek feedback from fair-weather friends, competitive
peers, or any person who doesn't have your best interests at
heart. Neutral doesn't count. Get feedback from someone who
is on your side but will still be objective and honest with
you.

I've observed time and again that misery truly does love
company. Jealousy creates some of the most miserable people
I know. Surpass the achievements of your particular social
crowd or your business colleagues, and look out for the
slings and arrows of those who wish you were back where they
are.

You have to dodge the snide remarks and catty comments. Let
them roll right off you. Don't internalize them.

Only pay attention to feedback from those who have similar
goals or who are working actively alongside you to achieve
goals of their own.

Motives and fears run deep. Study them in others. The
sympathetic fair-weather friend who supports you and
comforts you when you're down, may like you best when you
are in just that state: down and dependent.

Ultimately, nobody else is responsible for your life but
you. Nobody else is accountable for your actions but you.
Therefore, nobody's expectations for you and opinions about
you are as important as your own. So make sure those take
precedence in your mind over all others, and if you do need
to consult with someone else, think very carefully before
you choose exactly who.

Equally important, be prepared to sell your ideas to an
indifferent world. As passionate as you are about your
business and the fact that your products and services will
have positive, life-changing benefits to everyone you meet,
you are going to find resistance every time you tell your
story.

People are most interested in their own dreams and goals.
They have difficulty believing that you have found a better
way than they have to reach them. They are suspicious and
guarded when anyone tries to sell them or change their
minds.

Rather than have others steal your dreams by raining on
them, ask questions and find out about their dreams before
you launch into your sermon. People buy what they want
first, then what they need. Find what turns them on. It may
not be what turns you on. By helping others get what they
want, you'll get what you want too! (Column By Denis Waitley)

What You SAY is What You Get: How to Speak Your Way to Success

In order to be successful, we must first define what success
means to us, and that means getting clear about what you
want, writing it down, and thinking big!

If you are going to be successful in creating the life of
your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of
making it happen. You have to believe you have the right
stuff, that you are able to pull it off.

You have to believe in yourself. Whether you call it self-
esteem, self-confidence, or self-assurance, it is a deep-
seated belief that you have what it takes - the abilities,
inner resources, talents, and skills to create your desired
results.

Ultimately, you must learn to control your self-talk,
eliminate any negative and limiting beliefs, and maintain a
constant state of positive expectations.

Control Your Self-Talk...
Researchers have found that the average person thinks as
many as 50,000 thoughts a day. Sadly, many of those thoughts
are negative - I'm not management material... I'll never
lose weight... It doesn't matter what I do, nothing ever
works out for me.

This is what psychologists call victim language. Victim
language actually keeps you in a victim state of mind. It is
a form of self-hypnosis that lulls you into a belief that
you are unlovable and incompetent.

In order to get what you want from life, you need to give up
this victim language and start talking to yourself like a
winner - I can do it... I know there is a solution... I am
smart enough and strong enough to figure this out...
Everything I eat helps me maintain my perfect body weight.

You Are Always Programming Your Subconscious Mind...
Your subconscious mind is like the crew of a ship. You are
it's captain. It is your job to give the crew orders. And
when you do this, the crew takes everything you say
literally.

The crew (your subconscious) has no sense of humor. It just
blindly follows orders. When you say, "Everything I eat goes
straight to my hips," the crew hears that as an order: Take
everything she eats, turn it into fat and put it on her
hips.

On the other hand, if you say, "Everything I eat helps me
maintain my perfect body weight," the crew will begin to
make that into reality by helping you make better food
choices, exercise, and maintain the right metabolism rate
for you body.

This power of your subconscious mind is the reason you must
become very vigilant and pay careful attention to your
spoken and internal statements.

Unfortunately, most people don't realize they are committing
negative self-talk, which is why it is best to enlist
another person - your success partner - in monitoring each
other's speaking. You can have a signal for interrupting
each other when you use victim language.

Use Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence...
One of the most powerful tools for building worthiness and
self-confidence is the repetition of positive statements
until they become a natural part of the way you think.

These "affirmations" act to crowd out and replace the
negative orders you have been sending your crew (your
subconscious mind) all these years. I suggest that you
create a list of 10 to 20 statements that affirm your belief
in your worthiness and your ability to create the life of
your dreams.

Of course, what to believe is up to you, but here are some
examples of affirmations that have worked for others in the
past:

* I am worthy of love, joy and success.
* I am smart and make wise choices.
* I am loveable and capable.
* I create anything I want.
* I am able to solve any problem that comes my way.
* I can handle anything that life hands me.
* I have all the energy I need to do everything I want to
do.
* I am attracting all the right people into my life.

Believing in Yourself is an Attitude...
Believing in yourself is a choice. It's an attitude you
develop over time. It's now your responsibility to take
charge of your own self-concept and your beliefs.

It might help to know that the latest brain research now
indicates that with enough positive self-talk and positive
visualization combined with the proper training, coaching,
and practice, anyone can learn to do almost anything.

You must choose to believe that you can do anything you set
your mind to - anything at all - because, in fact, you can!

Wake Up to the Life You Love

While speaking at a San Diego university recently, I was
fortunate that I was not asked to leave the stage. You see,
I chose to share with the students in my audience some
frightening statistics.

I announced that, while many would receive their degrees,
few - very few - would end up pursuing careers in their
chosen field. At this point, the faculty began giving me
dirty looks.

I went on to say that, while most students were there to
pursue a dream, the dream they were chasing was not their
own. Many students enter college to live up to the
expectations of family, friends, and society.

They've been told they should become an accountant, lawyer,
doctor or teacher because of the great future and financial
gain. In trying to do what others think they should do
rather than following their individual passions, they rarely
continue along the same path once they leave campus.

Instead, I painted a different sort of picture. Using an
off-the-wall example to illustrate my point, I asked each of
them to imagine that he or she really wanted to become a
banjo player.

I said, "What if you took the same period of time and energy
pursuing that dream, your dream, your passion? What if you
began as an apprentice at a banjo shop, and then worked hard
to learn everything about banjos?

After four to six years, the same time you would have spent
earning a degree that you would not use anyway, you would
instead have become an authority on banjos. A real banjo
aficionado. Know why?"

"Because you'd be following your passion," I continued. "You
would become captivated by the topic, and the pursuit of
this goal would no longer feel like work, as much as it
would be a part of who you are.

Staying up late reading and learning everything there is to
know about banjos, listening to old songs and then creating
new ones would not be a chore; it would become your joy,
because you'd be doing what you love."

Now here's the best part. There will always be a call for
authorities in any area. So no matter if your pursuit is
toward playing the banjo, inventing new ice cream flavors,
or discovering the latest medical breakthroughs, there will
always be a demand for your services, thus creating success
in your chosen field of endeavor.

This is where true happiness and fulfillment comes in:
getting paid to do what you enjoy most while living the life
you love. Because...

When you do what you love, and love what you do, you'll have
success your whole life through! (Column By Greg Reid)

The Two Choices We Face

Each of us has two distinct choices to make about what we
will do with our lives. The first choice we can make is to
be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less. To
have less. To read less and think less. To try less and
discipline ourselves less.

These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are
the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant
apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.

And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we
can possibly be. To read every book that we possibly can. To
earn as much as we possibly can. To give and share as much
as we possibly can. To strive and produce and accomplish as
much as we possibly can. All of us have the choice.

To do or not to do. To be or not to be. To be all or to be
less or to be nothing at all.

Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to
stretch upward and outward to the full measure of our
capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment that
we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?

Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as
our talent and ability and desire will permit. To settle for
doing less than we could do is to fail in this worthiest of
undertakings.

Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not
conversation. Not explanation. Not justification. Results!
And if our results are less than our potential suggests that
they should be, then we must strive to become more today
than we were the day before.

The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring
great value to themselves and the world around them as a
result of whom and what they have become. (Column By Jim Rohn)

The Time To Start Working On That Dream Is Now!

Most of us are hesitant to start anything because we are
afraid we might make a mistake or fail. Go ahead make
mistakes! Don't wait for more experience or to be good
enough to start. You don't have to be good to start, but you
have to start to be good.

Some may tease and laugh at you. They will warn you, and
recite all the reasons why you shouldn't take the risk.
These will be the ones to wait around patiently hoping to
say, "I told you so." Brush them off. If you let these
people influence you in any way, you will never, ever be
ready to go ahead and start making your dream a reality.

You will never have enough money, enough time, enough
support, or experience to start. But once you muster up the
courage to take that giant step forward and start, the rest
will fall into place. But only you can make it happen! Start
now with whatever you know, whatever you have, and wherever
you are.

Don't let money be your handicap. You don't need money to
make the phone call, attend that networking event, or go as
a guest to an association meeting in your field. How about
volunteering a few hours a week to work for someone in the
business arena that you're thinking about? Do you see what I
mean? You have so many opportunities out there. Do
something!

Be sure to keep a good database. Record your contacts and
touch base with them every three months. And guess how much
that will cost you? Zero. Most computers already come with a
database program. All you need is a little time which you
can choose to create right now.

Your assignment: This month, write down what kind of
resources you will need and which people can help you make
your dream a reality. Be creative! Go for it.